I want my Life Back… Living with PSSD ( Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction).
It is important to share my story. I am a victim of PSSD which stands for Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction. I have been suffering for 10 yrs! PSSD has not only affected my life, but it has also affected the lives of my family and close friends around me. I am embarrassed about having this condition. I still have not informed all my friends and family members. PSSD has affected me sexually and emotionally. I have always said I pray that my worst enemies will never have to deal with this horrible condition.
There are so many people from around the world suffering with PSSD. It is so easy to find victims on the internet… ie You Tube channel called PSSDdrugsandrockandroll, Reddit, Facebook page called Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction: Research, Support,and Activism), pssd.org, & Rxisk.org. Most victims will not share their stories because they feel ashamed and embarrassed. Many more are not aware the condition exists. It took me 8 years to realize I was dealing with PSSD because it is simply not recognized as a medical condition.
The reason I was prescribed Zoloft from my doctor was to help prevent myself from having repetitive negative thoughts. I would analyze everything to death. I was not depressed at all. I started taking Zoloft in my mid 20’a. In my 30’s, I decided I wanted to get off Zoloft. I did not taper off, but stopped cold turkey. After a few weeks getting off Zoloft, new symptoms had developed. I realized my morning erections had suddenly disappeared and my libido was non existent. Having erections was extremely difficult and soft glands eventually occurred,
I prayed to find a diagnosis. I met with over 50 different medical specialists with countless appointments and exams. I lived in NYC where the best of the best medical doctors practice. I took out loans so I could invest in treatment. I have been misdiagnosed from every single medical professional.
I was so determined to help find a treatment that I traveled to other locations like Chicago, Beverly Hills, and Mexico in order to work with the best specialists. . I was treated with 2 different types of stem cell treatments, ibogaine treatment, shockwave treatments, became a vegan, and took countless supplements suggested by doctors.
My mental health was deteriorating quickly as the years continued. Reality was setting in as I realized I could not be helped by the medical community. The fear of the possibility of living with this condition created my depression. In addition, it was frustrating to hear the same answers from my doctors. “ My problem is my depression and my sexual dysfunction were the symptoms.”
My depression kept building and getting worse as the years continued. I simply could not tolerate living an abnormal life. The feeling of isolation from the world was growing. Not having the ability to feel attraction for another person is abnormal. My plan was to fall in love, get married, and have kids. I even started to neglect some of my best friends because they were moving on with their lives. They were getting married and having kids. I was jealous and angry because my life stopped progressing.
The pain I put my family and friends through bc of my own suffering has not been fair for them. My depression has been so bad that ending my life would be the best option. I even reasoned that it might be easier for my family to move on without me. I felt my misery and unhappiness should not be directed onto them, the people I love the most. Zoloft has ruined my life and I do not want it to ruin the lives of people who I love very much. It is crazy to think my depression was caused by taking antidepressant with all its negative side effects.
I want to be normal again! I want my LIFE back!
Please make a donation to Melcangi Research. The goal is to understand the pathology of PSSD in order to help find a cure.
Prof. Roberto Cosimo Melcangi of the Department of Pharmacological and Biomolecular Sciences “DiSFeB” — University of Milano-Italy intends to evaluate, in an animal model of PSSD, the effect of the chronic treatment with paroxetine and its withdrawal on neurosteroidogenesis (i.e., steroid levels in brain areas, gene expression of steroidogenic machinery and mitochondrial functionality) as well as the effect on the mechanism of action of neurosteroids (i.e., gene expression of classical and non classical steroid receptors)